A Beer Club Story….

A blog post about my Dad and his favorite gift of all time: A subscription to a Beer of the Month Club

“In heaven there is no beer. That’s why we drink ours here.”
— Frankie Yankovic, Polka King

I’m going to scatter some quotes about beer on this blog because I know them all by heart thanks to Dad. Beer is not only Dad’s favorite beverage–it’s also his hobby, his passion and his exercise. (He calls lifting up a can of beer doing 12 ounce curls lol!)

He has a slew of beer quotes that he can rattle off at a moment’s notice. I swear he knows every beer quote known to mankind by heart. You can ask my brother Nolan–we can all recite Dad’s beer quotes because of overexposure to them!

Knowing that Dad loves his beer so much we’ve tried to indulge his passion by giving him beer gifts. We’ve bought him authentic beer steins, expensive crystal beer glasses, beer-themed clothing, beer coasters – even bought him a beer-can hat that holds two cans of beer on his head with straws that go down to his mouth. (This was Nolan’s idea not mine and Dad didn’t like it very much.) Finally it dawned on us a few years ago — what Dad might really like is for us to buy him a Beer of the Month subscription and boy did he love his gift this time.

“I work until beer o’clock.”
— Steven King

Dad’s retired now, so for him it’s always beer o’clock. Mom has laid down rules though. One beer with his lunch, and then he has to wait until 5 PM. Dad says it’s 5 PM somewhere, as he opens the fridge to sneak one out. Wow he’s one funny dude for a retired accountant! He savors every single brew he gets from the Beer of the Month Club. Mom says having one at lunch and then one dinner time is enough, but I know she doesn’t count the beers in his beer fridge in the basement!

“Life is too short to drink cheap beer” – Anonymous

Now when I say Dad loves beer I’m not really talking about supermarket beers. He loves craft beer the best I think, and then he loves any beer from Belgium or Germany. One of the beers he got from Beer of the Month Club was made with chocolate. That beer he gave to me – too bad for him. If he’d tasted it he would have loved it.

“Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer the world” — Kaiser Wilhelm

Dad would often say this to Mom because she used to hate beer. Once, all she drank was white Zin (barf)! Dad always wished she could develop a taste for beer. So he started encouraging her to try some of his Beer of the Month Club brews. They are all so different–certainly one of them should hit the spot, he’d say.

Well guess what? A few years ago in the Beer of the Month selection, there was this beer that was packaged so well –it had all the elegance of champagne. It was called Infinium and made by Sam Adams. I don’t know if they still make it, but that was the turning point for Mom. Now even she is sharing beers with Dad. On Friday nights, they often have a beer tasting party for just the two of them. So cute! Mom’s even graduated to like some of the stronger brews that come in the monthly shipment.

“He was a wise man who invented beer” – Plato

I have to laugh. Dad has made up his own quotes about beer. Actually they are not original. He just substitutes the word beer for another one. Every time his shipment comes from his Beer of the Month Club, he’s sure to share one of his quotes with the delivery guy, like:

• He who hesitates doesn’t get the last beer.
• He who laughs last has a beer in his hand.
• My kingdom for a beer.
• Beer makes the heart grow fonder.
• For the optimist, the beer is always half full.
• Look before you pour your beer.
• Keep your beer close and your craft beers closer.

I’ll spare you the long list he’s developed, but you get the point. It seems that now that he’s getting his Beer of the Month Club deliveries, he’s become even more focused on beer– if that’s humanly possible. And, here’s the odd part, Dad’s as slim and trim as he was in his youth. He says beer is part of his diet plan. I don’t know what kind of diet that is, but he looks pretty good for a man his age!

“Give a man a beer, he’ll drink for the day. Teach a man to brew, he’ll be drunk the rest of his life” – Anonymous

One of Nolan and my gifts to Dad one year was a beer brewing kit. The whole family laughs when we remember Dad trying to make beer. Let’s just say that not only was it a messy affair, whatever swill he made was totally undrinkable. Although Dad is a connoisseur of beer, he’s not pretentious at all—not about himself and certainly not about beer.

One of his other favorite quotes to say is: There’s no such thing as bad beer. That was before he tried brewing it himself and ended up with this syrupy, bitter, ugly colored liquid that we were afraid was so corrosive– it would eat through the glass bottles he was pouring it into. Horrible stuff! Even Dad couldn’t drink it so you know it was terrible. One of the things Dad really loves about the Beer of the Month Club is that inside the box they include information on how the beer was developed– how it’s made, and what is different about it. He says, “As a brewer myself, I find the information so interesting.” He’s a brewer? Funny man!

So friends, I hope I made my point. If you have a beer lover in your family, do not hesitate to order Beer of the Month Club as a gift. We bought all kinds of presents for our Dad that he hated, but this is one gift that truly is a gift that keeps giving. He reminds us too. He says, “Don’t forget to up my subscription– it’s almost time!” Cheers and beers!